Advice from Doris Anderson

Casual* Sex for Lesbians

Ladies, I don’t know about you, but I am green with envy of gay men, who seem to arrange a rousing session of casual sex in less than twenty minutes via their AOL account.  Getting an anonymous lewdly impassioned male homosexual ringing the buzzer is quicker than getting a pizza delivery.

But if you’re the average single lesbian, how often does a casual sexual encounter happen to you, whether in the comfort of your own home or elsewhere?

Probably not often, if at all.

Why?  Fear.  The fear of rejection, rejection and rejection.

(Although fear is not such a bad thing.  If you experience fear, you probably have a good survival instinct.  Who wants to be like Julie Harris in The Haunting?  That woman’s instinct for survival was at about 5% in that film.)

But why should gay men have all the fun?  If you are a single lesbian who does not want to be celibate, I’m going to give you the hottest tip you’ll ever get, which will help you engage in casual sex:  The Make-Out Date.

How many times, as hard as it may be, have you asked a gal back to your apartment and she thought it was for a game of Boggle?  Honestly, it is just too awkward to seduce a woman while shaking a dice tray.  Or have you ever had the guts, at least once in your life, to pre-arrange sex only to have one party get cold feet because they are afraid of the ultimate below-the-waist action with someone they don’t know all that well?

So The Make-Out Date is exactly just that – making out!  Somehow having a little smooch with a stranger or someone you barely know isn’t extremely scary.  The beauty of The Make-Out Date is the only thing the two parties have committed to do is make-out.  And, if someone is on the fence about you, they are more likely to try making-out, rather than fleeing from a flat out request for sex.

And the BONUS beauty of The Make-Out Date is if both parties are so hot they can’t stop, they can finish the whole thing off with full-blown sex!**  And it gets better, the safety-net beauty is if it doesn’t go beyond making-out, no one has to have hurt feelings because all you agreed to do was make-out.  (Too bad Julie Harris didn’t have access to The Make-Out Date concept.  Who didn’t want to see her get it on with Claire Bloom rather than trying to fling herself off balconies all movie long?)

It is critical to our sexual life that The Make-Out Date infiltrates into the conscious of the lesbian community. Everyone needs to know what The Make-Out Date is, just like everyone knows what the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival is.  Only The Make-Out Date doesn’t have a segregated Camp Trans element.  The Make-Out Date is all-inclusive and is exceptionally practical for those who are striving to be sexually active and find doing so to be allusive.

Blog about it, call your friends, or start a support group about it at your local LGBTQIA Center – whatever it takes to spread the word.  The Make-Out Date should be the talk of the town!  The more women who hear about it, the more likely you’ll have one scheduled on your calendar soon.

We can’t stop until we rectify the frustration Julie and Claire left us with all these years.

Be sure to have your mouthwash handy.

Sexy Hugs,

Doris

* This is of course if you want to have sex.  I am respectful of gals who aren’t interested and am a non-stop advocate for the ones who are!

** No one likes an unflattering STD.  (We often think about STDs as a below the waist ailment – but don’t forget about oral herpes!)   If you are engaging in any risky behavior, please sisters, please, use protection.  If you are not sure what risky behavior is, check out these websites for educational information:

lesbianlife.about.com/cs/sex/a/safersex.htm

www.avert.org/lesbians-safe-sex.htm

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